So Why Are Babies So Annoying?
I remember asking myself that question when my sister was born eighteen years ago. Why is she so annoying? However, don’t get me wrong. I never actually thought that my life would be better if she wasn’t born. However, there were a lot of things I wanted her to stop doing back then. I want her to:
- stop crying
- stop running towards me all the time
- stop making me change her diapers
- stop, stop, stop, and just stop…seriously
I always thought that she is intentionally demanding and annoying so that she can get what she wants. It was easy to fall into that mind set, because the one of the quickest options to sooth her crying is to simply giving her what she wants whether its:
- or whatever she had in mind
In fact, the struggle between giving or not giving what babies want is the reason why they are “annoying”. Giving your baby what she wants is the easy solution to stop her tantrums, or whatever things you find irritating your nerves. Obviously, not doing that is usually the right thing to do. However, situations can make you differ in opinion. Let me tell you my story below.
Giving Her What She Wants – Easy Solution?
I am sure most parents can agree that it is not a good idea to give-in to your little one’s annoying tantrums. Under controlled circumstances, I believe it is best not to simply give your little one what she wants. I believe it is best to make her work for it, rather than giving it away like some kind of freebie.
This is one reason babies are “annoying”. It is because we are trying our best as parents to teach them to become better people. One valuable thing we can teach them is to learn to earn their desires with their own efforts, not by relying on crying and being annoying.
However, there are plenty of situations where you simply have no choice but to give her what she wants even if it is a little bit unreasonable. Let me give you an example. Six months ago…
My wife and I brought our daughter to the doctor for a checkup and a vaccine shot (for those who have anything against vaccine shots, just google bubonic plague). That day, my daughter got two different shots. One in each thigh and she had her blood work done to check for food allergies. In other words, she got three needles in one doctor checkup.
I don’t know if you are brave when it comes to needles, but I believe that the general public are not very happy about getting shots unless it is something painless like acupuncture. My daughter obviously cried very hard after accepting three shots within the time frame of ten minutes. Warm tears were rolling down her eyes, and her face was all red.
What did we do as parents? We gave her a lollipop. Those were available at the doctor’s office. Was it the right thing to do? Obviously not, because candy causes cavities, and contributes to diabetes. If we spoil her with candy, then she would have a pretty horrible future with her health in concern.
Even though it was not the right thing to do. It was best thing we could do at the moment. It was already winter time, so we have to put our daughter into her jacket after we finished our business at the clinic.
When my daughter is in a good mood, putting her in a jacket is already extremely difficult. She would almost literally wrestle you off as if you are a monster trying to eat her.
After she got her shots, putting her jacket on have increased ten fold in difficulty. Obviously, we can not take her outside in the cold without her jacket on. If we did not give her lollipop, we would have no choice but to patiently put her jacket on, while struggling with her crying, kicking and having everybody in the room being “annoyed” by her.
Normally I would feel a bit angry if my wife or I gave our daughter any kind of reward if she starts crying and throwing tantrums. The reason is because I don’t want my daughter to feel that being annoying to get what she wants is the right thing to do. However, in the doctor visit example above, I wouldn’t mind giving my daughter a bit of a consolation because she just literally suffered and there was nothing else we could do for her.
They Are Unreasonable- Or Are They?
Babies might seem annoying when they always want something unreasonable. However, I believe that that way of thinking is even moreunreasonable. The reason is simple. Babies are humans like us, so obviously they would also want things that adults like us enjoy and desire. They might not want it they same way we do, nor do they use our valuables the same way we do, but nevertheless, they want it.
Not too long ago, baby daughter wants to play with my scissors. I refused of course and She started crying. In most people’s eyes, she is being “annoying” again, but in my opinion it was the cutest thing in the world.
The reason is simple. We all eventually grow up to become adults. In order to fit into society, many, if not all of us, wear some kind of identity “mask” that hides our true personality and true desires. It is very rare nowadays for you to witness someone genuinely showing their true desire for something in its pure form. What I am getting at is, most of us are liars. My daughter did not lie to me. She wants my scissors and she honestly expressed that to me in her “goos goos and gaas gaas”.
Of course, just because she saids she wants it, it doesn’t mean it is right to give it to her. I love her so I don’t want her to hurt herself. What did I do then to stop her “annoying” crying for my scissors? I held her in my arms, picked up a book, and read to her. She completely forgot about the scissors and focused on the book that I am reading to her.
My daughter might be curious and want to investigate forbidden things like every other child in the world. However, she is not overly stubborn over things she can’t get. The next best thing is always a good option for her.
Why is she that way you say?
It is because I taught her to be that way. When I tell her something, show her something, or anything, I never make a big deal out of anything. I don’t fuss. As her father, I realized long ago that being a good role model is essential if I want my daughter to live a happy and healthy life. Let’s say for example my daughter cries really hard for no reason. I never shout or get angry at her even if I am tempted to do so.
How do I manage that?
I simply disciplined myself to do so. I want my daughter to learn the right things from me, especially attitude towards life in general. This is why my daughter is never unreasonable to me even when she is unreasonable. I don’t project any belief that she is unreasonable. I simply don’t let her make the horrible decisions that will damage her as a person.
Nowadays, whenever my daughter is about to touch the scissors, I simply say don’t touch, and she moves on. I never even punished her for it. I simply made it clear that I don’t want her to touch it. She might not understand why she shouldn’t touch it, but I personally believe that she can kind of “feel” it is for her own good.
She Might Really Need Something
Quite often, it is tempting to believe that your children are being annoying because they are naturally talented to do so. I always force myself to think whether she is being fussy because she really needs something.
Maybe she needs to eat, something to drink, or maybe she is sleepy, but she has trouble falling asleep. I believe that for good parents, no matter how exhausted or stressed out you are, you should really consider all those possibilities first before you jump to the conclusion that your baby is being annoying
Let me tell you my story. There was a time where my daughter was crying for a whole hour without any explanation whatsoever. She wasn’t hungry, or thirsty and she wasn’t in the mood to play or to sleep. At that time I was horrified because I thought something has happened to her. My mother, (my daughter’s grandmother) simply concluded that my daughter is being naughty and causing mischief. My wife and I eventually noticed that there are red rashes all over my daughter’s face. It turns out that she is allergic to something that her grandmother fed her so she wasn’t feeling well.
My wife and I wouldn’t have found out that true reason behind our daughter’s “annoying” tantrums if we simply acted dumbed, and immediately concluded that she is being bad and causing mischief for no reason.
Trust Your Baby
Everybody gets stressed out at one point. You can be a parent reading this, or a typical bystander reading this. Babies might feel annoying to you when your are stressed beyond your limit, but I promise you that they are almost always the most non-lethal and kind humans in the world. Please realized that you were once just as annoying quite some time ago. Since you took your turn dishing out your tantrums, it is time for the next generation to enjoy that privilege.
Let’s face it, its always better to face a genuine tantrum, than to face a dangerously ugly lie. Babies are straightforward creatures. No matter how how much mischief you see in them, you should do your best and love them.